A glass gets tipped over; sticky, sweet tea puddles on a just washed floor. Someone cuts you off in traffic and you have ride the brakes. A needle breaks again, the surger threads tangles for no apparent reason. You are running late again. Can’t find shoes, keys, purse, phone. The internet is unusually slow, right when you need to look up a recipe or place an order. Some days it’s as small as my clothes getting hooked on a handle and I’m ready to fight. A project goes off the rails or your chain gets rattled, what comes out? Anger and frustration are a part of daily life. Plan and organize as much as you like, there will be human error. The problem is when you act out frustration or anger. That is impatience. Webster say impatience is restless or short of temper especially under irritation, delay, or opposition. Annoyance isn’t necessarily the problem, it’s the acting on it or letting it out. My elbow gets bumped, whatever is in my cup sloshes out. Is it patience, mercy and understanding or is it quick, harsh words that i will lay in bed and regret later? Personally, impatience is one of my biggest weaknesses. It is the thorniest, yet most common weed in my garden. Those thorns have hurt me and those around me way too often.
We live in a world where impatience is rampant. We are conditioned to hurry. Society is constantly accelerating. A study shows that Amazon would lose 1.6 billion dollars in sales a year if their home page loaded 1 second slower. In another study, a group of people were given fast internet. They watched videos for a while and then the internet was switched to a slower service. It took 2 seconds longer for the video to load and annoyance to kicked in. Patience does not come natural to humans. We are not born with patience. Watch a toddler for 20 minutes and that is apparent. On top of that, time is a precious commodity. We hoard it, schedule it, and stretch it; yet there is never quite enough. We have invented so many time saving devices: dishwashers, washers and dryers, microwaves, and roombas. There is grocery pickup, express lanes, next day shipping, and Door-dash. For a fee, you can speed up almost everything. One would think we would have nothing but time. No, we are a busy people. Multi tasking is a super power. So busy we don’t have time to read a book, we got to listen while we work. Considering that this feeling rush and hurry makes us feel like we are hanging on by a thread, is it any wonder we are impatient? We are wound tight as a top. One little inconvenience and we are off to the races.
So how do we have patience in this modern fast paced world? What does patience look like? I found a couple definitions of patience that i really like. The first one is out the book “Love as a way of life” by Gary Chapman. He is the 5 love language author. I have read this book a number of times and highly recommend it. He has a chapter on patience. One definition he gives is that patience is allowing someone to be imperfect. I love that. No one likes to be held to a standard of perfection. I find that if i can allow myself to be imperfect, it is easier to offer grace to those around me. In this book he says this: “if we want to love others well, we need to be patient with ourselves. If we are impatient with ourselves, we will likely be impatient with others. We hold others to the same high standard to which we hold ourselves. Often that standard is unrealistic for anyone”. Then there is quote by David G. Allen: “Patience is the calm acceptance that things can happen in a different order than the one you have in mind”. Calm acceptance. Unbothered when the winds pick up speed. Unshaken when my plans go off the rails. Calm when my house is in a chaos and it feels out of my control. Not annoyed when plans change on a dime. Not irritated by all the small inconveniences that can litter our days. Accepting of the circumstances of life because i know trouble may be here now but its only for a season. Because i know that it is not possible for me to walk out of God’s line of sight. Because my yesterday went exactly the way He said it would and tomorrow is in His hands. Because I know that “there is nothing new under the sun”. I may be caught off guard by the circumstances of the day but God is not. Calm acceptance because the eternal God is my refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms. (Deuteronomy 33:27) Calm acceptance speaks of trust that comes from tracing His steady guiding hand throughout our lives. In every season of life He has guided. Psalms 139:7 Whither shall I go from thy spirit or whither shall I flee from His presence? “Never once has he left us on our own”. Everything that has come into my life has passed through my Father’s hand first. That takes the sting out of life. The last part of that quote says “a different order than the one you have in mind”. That makes me think of the quote that say “expectations are the root of heartache”. (William Shakespeare) How often do I have something planned out and get impatient when it goes a different way, as if I was ever really in control of it to start with? I expected this and got that instead. Then the choice is mine: calm acceptance or short of temper?
Impatience often makes me feel like something needs to be done or said right now, the sooner the better. Yet, in hindsight, rarely has that been a solution to the problem. In the heat of the moment, one does not think clearly. Frequently, God reminds us to be quiet and still. When i can quiet the roaring thoughts, better decisions are made. When i can literally still my body, my mind unspools, my thoughts calm, and God can be heard. In moments of high stress, i tend to be super busy in body and mind, it makes me feel like I’m doing something about the situation. Sitting down, take a few deep breaths, and relaxing feels like torture in the moment but often eases the tension. In Psalms 37:1 it says “Fret not thyself”. To many times, I stress myself out. I get all impatient with people, although i say I can’t help it. But it’s my thought process that is causing the problem, not the other person. Fretting myself. Hebrews 12:1-2 “Let us run with patience the race that is set before us. Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith: who for the joy set before him endured…” 1 Timothy 1:16 “…Jesus Christ might shew forth all long suffering, for a pattern to them…” Enduring and long suffering are examples left by Jesus. So often, people tried to provoke Jesus, they taunted, ridiculed, and nitpicked. Jesus didn’t lose His temper and when He did speak, it wasn’t hasty words that were regretted later. Our Perfect Example is touched with the feeling of our infirmities; and was in all points tempted like as we are, yet without sin. (Hebrews 4:15) Jesus could have trounced His opposers in dramatic fashion, He knew the power He possessed over them, but He chose to leave an example for us to follow. Like Him we can run our race with patience. Looking to the joy offered us, we can endure.
James 1:2-4 “My brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations; knowing this that the trying of your faith worketh patience. But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing”. We joke about things “trying my patience” and something taking “the patience of Job”. The way I see it, we learn patience through trials. Like a muscle, it gets stronger when we exercise it. “Count it all joy” sounds like calm acceptance, suffering long, and allowing room for imperfection. Not much room for “short of temper especially under irritation, delay, or opposition”. We hesitate to ask God to teach us patience because we know the rocks are sharp and painful on that path. But when patience has done her perfect work, we want nothing. We are at rest in all circumstances of life: surviving on high seas or when we lie down in green pastures. Romans 5:3 “but we glory in tribulation also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience”. How many times have we begged God to take away the trial of the day? We want to avoid the trying of our faith. Can we stay calm as the refiner’s fire burns out the dross? Is the acceptance that in the end we will come forth as gold? Can we trust the process while God separates the wheat from the chaff? Can we humble ourselves under the mighty hand of God when our weak flesh points out an easier way? Can we wait on the Lord? Psalms 27:14 “Wait on the Lord: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thy heart: wait, I say, on the Lord”. Be of good courage, that sounds like not being distracted by the inconveniences that come along in life. Not chafing, struggling, or complaining. Luke 21:19 “In your patience possess ye your souls”. One of the fruits of the spirit is to be long suffering. The charity chapter say that love suffers long and is kind. Our human tendency is wiggle out from under any suffering just as quick as we can. However if we have the Holy Spirit to help us, we can suffer long and still be kind. “Glory in tribulation”.
Read the first chapter of Job and truly put yourself in his shoes. There is a lot going on there. And while he was yet speaking there came another also: more bad news after more bad news. By the time the day was over, Job lost his children, oxen, donkeys, sheep, camels, his servants, even his wife turned on him. Yet “in all this Job sinned not, nor charged God foolishly” and “in all this did not Job sin with his lips”. His burden of grief was so great he sat on the ground for seven days and nights and no one spoke to him. His world turned upside down. Talk about a refining fire. I cringe when I think about some of the small inconveniences that I have complained and been impatient about. Is that sinning with my lips? Job was in such dire straits that his wife told him to curse God and die. Then he told her this: What? Shall we receive good at the hand of God, and shall we not receive evil?” Calm acceptance that things can happen a different order than the one you have in mind. Calm acceptance that God’s order is what i want. Calm acceptance that this trying of my faith worketh patience. Counting it all joy that God’s hand hold mine in the fiery furnace of temptation. Something tells me that this wasn’t Job’s first experience that required patience. He had been strengthening that muscle long before that fateful day. Satan accused God of putting a hedge around Job, yet the amount of patience Job had speaks of a trying of his faith and great tribulations.
Satan is still going to and fro upon the earth, and walking up and down it. He is testing our patience. Troubling the waters of our lives. Today, we will make choices: calm acceptance or short of temper, quick hasty reactions and regret. Jesus walks beside us, as our quiet example. He sets joy before us, and reminds us to lay aside every weight and the sins which doth so easily beset us. He knows our frame and remembers we are dust. Yet he is patient with us. Let us be patient with ourselves and others. May we face whatever the moments bring with great courage and the patience of Job. 🤍e
Love this! Such a good reminder to my impatient self. Thank you for the inspiration.
Taking a deep breath right now 🥹 thanks for the thoughts